I know this is all supposed to be just lovely and everyone is meant to be happy here, but hello, I was left at my human sister’s house while they went dog-knows-where, and what do I have to show for it? She comes home, right, and tells me they went to “Target”, and I’m like, what the hell is that, whatever, and then she goes on, “Yada yada, Henry, I found these edible dog-treat invitations, chewy postcard things made out of rawhide…”, like you’d send from one dog to another, right, if we even knew what mail WAS, for like for a dog party.
Uh, excuse me?? Where ARE they?
Look, I always pee outside. The least she could do is bring me joke invites to eat. Jesuits on Parade.